








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1402 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1267 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1578 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1484 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1371 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $375,925 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Okami | 44% | 25 |
| #2 | SpaceGhost | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | rmsfighter | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | ATTILA | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | CharlieAndCheese | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | CharlieAndCheese | 39% | 33 |
| #6 | Moist Towel | 38% | 16 |
| #7 | Pigeon Reborn | 33% | 24 |
| #8 | No-Clutch Bill | 30% | 27 |
| #9 | GODLY | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Okami | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | No-Clutch Bill | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Pigeon Reborn | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | rmsfighter | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Okami | 136 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | Pigeon Reborn | 86 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | ATTILA | 73 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | CharlieAndCheese | 39 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Moist Towel | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Okami | +2.25 | 52 | 57 |
| #2 | CharlieAndCheese | +0.81 | 72 | 52 |
| #3 | SpaceGhost | +0.79 | 20 | 58 |
| #4 | Moist Towel | +0.78 | 36 | 53 |
| #5 | Lukepa33 | +0.22 | 61 | 55 |





