








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 335 | 14% |
| Smokes | 520 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 629 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 960 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $170,330 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Octrain | 44% | 16 |
| #2 | < blank > | 41% | 22 |
| #3 | SALADSTER | 39% | 106 |
| #4 | Pray for Bronny | 38% | 53 |
| #5 | π
°π
Ή_π
Ήπ
Ύπ
½ | 34% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Octrain | 44% | 16 |
| #2 | < blank > | 41% | 22 |
| #3 | SALADSTER | 39% | 106 |
| #4 | Pray for Bronny | 38% | 53 |
| #5 | π
°π
Ή_π
Ήπ
Ύπ
½ | 34% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pray for Bronny | 30 | 0.0307 |
| #2 | π
°π
Ή_π
Ήπ
Ύπ
½ | 9 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | SALADSTER | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Octrain | 3 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | < blank > | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | 91 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | π
°π
Ή_π
Ήπ
Ύπ
½ | 81 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Pray for Bronny | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | SALADSTER | 46 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Octrain | 13 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π
°π
Ή_π
Ήπ
Ύπ
½ | +4.49 | 68 | 49 |
| #2 | < blank > | +3.29 | 65 | 59 |
| #3 | Octrain | +1.06 | 72 | 16 |
| #4 | Pray for Bronny | +0.87 | 63 | 46 |
| #5 | SALADSTER | -1.28 | 15 | 24 |





