








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 97 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5941 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2743 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 4476 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3679 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $838,653 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 129 | 56% | 64 |
| #3 | PADDY | 55% | 116 |
| #4 | Valley | 51% | 305 |
| #5 | n8 | 49% | 310 |
| #6 | Wombat | 43% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n8 | 31 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Valley | 29 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Wombat | 23 | 0.0129 |
| #4 | PADDY | 20 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | 129 | 6 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valley | 1005 | 0.17 | 29 min |
| #2 | Wombat | 296 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | n8 | 294 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | PADDY | 242 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | 129 | 201 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crazy NIG | +4.36 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | Wombat | +4.05 | 91 | 43 |
| #3 | 129 | +0.58 | 88 | 39 |
| #4 | Valley | +0.26 | 54 | 65 |
| #5 | PADDY | -0.75 | 67 | 45 |





