








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 86 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1324 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1500 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2703 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1607 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,269,719 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | PADDY | 52% | 87 |
| #4 | Wombat | 51% | 78 |
| #5 | 129 | 50% | 60 |
| #6 | Valley | 49% | 224 |
| #7 | Crazy NIG | 49% | 310 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crazy NIG | 1008 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #2 | Valley | 720 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #3 | Wombat | 274 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | 129 | 202 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | PADDY | 176 | 0.10 | 4 min |





