










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
445 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,482 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 468 | 32% |
| Smokes | 344 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 324 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 346 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $129,602 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 306 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | METTA | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | v1xO | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Turttle | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | me | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | me ツ | 64% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | me | 3 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | Turttle | 2 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | 𝑴𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒆 ଓ˖˚ | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | me ツ | 1 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | -FxO | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | me ツ | 51 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #2 | me | 41 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | -FxO | 38 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | Turttle | 33 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | 𝑴𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒆 ଓ˖˚ | 19 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -FxO | +6.44 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | me | +4.40 | 74 | 52 |
| #3 | Wheezr | +4.31 | 76 | 46 |
| #4 | v1xO | +3.59 | 72 | 74 |
| #5 | 340km/h_Peek Mazda | +3.17 | 67 | 62 |





