










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,743 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1796 | 48% |
| Smokes | 208 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 833 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 906 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $176,059 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1257 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fizzex. | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Glav0bolie | 67% | 55 |
| #3 | Fire-a | 64% | 64 |
| #4 | 🌙 | 23% | 13 |
| #5 | Valeto | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Fire-a | 64% | 64 |
| #4 | 🌙 | 23% | 13 |
| #5 | Valeto | 20% | 10 |
| #6 | Goth Girl Paw Job | 18% | 11 |
| #7 | Sigma67Ninjer | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goth Girl Paw Job | 7 | 0.0304 |
| #2 | 🌙 | 5 | 0.0187 |
| #3 | Glav0bolie | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Valeto | 2 | 0.0108 |
| #5 | Sigma67Ninjer | 2 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glav0bolie | 81 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Fire-a | 43 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Goth Girl Paw Job | 17 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Valeto | 13 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | 🌙 | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glav0bolie | +5.71 | 63 | 44 |
| #2 | Goth Girl Paw Job | +1.67 | 52 | 44 |
| #3 | ghghghghg | +0.74 | 53 | 51 |
| #4 | 🌙 | -1.65 | 33 | 27 |
| #5 | Valeto | -1.90 | 35 | 44 |





