








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2466 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2961 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6056 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5062 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5687 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5113 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $779,028 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1494 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | JohnnyW | 52% | 62 |
| #5 | Davidini00 ✪ | 52% | 128 |
| #6 | The Suspect | 51% | 53 |
| #7 | Arda Güler | 51% | 128 |
| #8 | Gojo Satoru | 41% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Meowdy | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Davidini00 ✪ | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | JohnnyW | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Gojo Satoru | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Arda Güler | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Meowdy | 293 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Gojo Satoru | 276 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #3 | JohnnyW | 221 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Arda Güler | 212 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Davidini00 ✪ | 211 | 0.08 | 7 min |





