








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 965 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 29 | 3% |
| Smokes | 262 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 434 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 240 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $222,045 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gravity | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | NPC Slayer 69420 | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | 蛇喰 夢子 | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | renyan | 40% | 117 |
| #5 | 8SIX | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | renyan | 207 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | 8SIX | 21 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | NPC Slayer 69420 | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Gravity | 11 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | 蛇喰 夢子 | 9 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NPC Slayer 69420 | +7.53 | 78 | 49 |
| #2 | 蛇喰 夢子 | +6.44 | 85 | 49 |
| #3 | Gravity | +3.08 | 50 | 44 |
| #4 | renyan | +2.57 | 65 | 52 |
| #5 | Aqua(new foreskin) | -0.27 | 22 | 13 |





