








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 260 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 73 | 28% |
| Smokes | 58 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 87 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 42 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $71,425 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Noname | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Paul E. Tician | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Noname | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Paul E. Tician | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 5 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | Noname | 4 | 0.0263 |
| #3 | Paul E. Tician | 2 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | Paul E. Tician | 23 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | +2.73 | 64 | 51 |
| #2 | Art E. Ficial | +1.34 | 45 | 39 |
| #3 | Paul E. Tician | +0.47 | 41 | 29 |
| #4 | Noname | -4.16 | 16 | 7 |





