








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1292 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1948 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2146 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1515 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2234 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $353,805 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dezwell | 54% | 78 |
| #2 | Whiscola | 53% | 64 |
| #3 | ⚡ | 50% | 44 |
| #4 | Fr3Lo | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dezwell | 54% | 78 |
| #2 | Whiscola | 53% | 64 |
| #3 | ⚡ | 50% | 44 |
| #4 | Fr3Lo | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dezwell | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Whiscola | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ⚡ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dezwell | 223 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Whiscola | 219 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Fr3Lo | 128 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | ⚡ | 52 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dezwell | +2.56 | 89 | 59 |
| #2 | ⚡ | +0.64 | 69 | 50 |
| #3 | CPeX | -0.15 | 58 | 68 |
| #4 | Whiscola | -1.18 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | Fr3Lo | -1.85 | 41 | 55 |





