








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1338 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1059 | 27% |
| Smokes | 938 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1109 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 854 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $452,921 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prison Mike | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Troùblé Shüter | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | PapaSchlumpf | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | ᶜᴿᴬᶻᵞkíllєr | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | CocoBrown | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prison Mike | 89 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | PapaSchlumpf | 83 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Aimy | 82 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | Troùblé Shüter | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | chriS | 40 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FoxxxyS | +6.41 | 88 | 47 |
| #2 | Younique | +5.95 | 97 | 52 |
| #3 | CocoBrown | +3.22 | 70 | 68 |
| #4 | Prison Mike | +1.54 | 72 | 54 |
| #5 | Aimy | +0.95 | 43 | 71 |





