








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 436 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3314 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3513 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4741 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4548 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,320,096 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 383 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Arielle | 40% | 30 |
| #5 | œ IMPERIAL œ | 39% | 135 |
| #6 | sabb3l | 35% | 80 |
| #7 | WitchCraft [rsb] | 28% | 71 |
| #8 | XxKarlLauterBachFanboyxX | 26% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sabb3l | 331 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | WitchCraft [rsb] | 185 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | œ IMPERIAL œ | 175 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | tatem | 163 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Juwlz | 101 | 0.11 | 2 min |





