








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 395 matches | ||
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Wingman | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11530 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5546 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6084 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5226 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5893 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,216,006 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 665 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edging 4 U | 59% | 85 |
| #2 | jksn (sitting desk user) | 59% | 135 |
| #3 | sneed | 58% | 65 |
| #4 | ᵈᵃᵐᵉ☾ | 58% | 505 |
| #5 | Fat Chaw | 56% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Chilli | 54% | 59 |
| #7 | im not hacking | 52% | 46 |
| #8 | nomadMF | 52% | 115 |
| #9 | ThatNinja | 45% | 94 |
| #10 | Shaniqua | 42% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵈᵃᵐᵉ☾ | 18 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Shaniqua | 15 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | jksn (sitting desk user) | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Fat Chaw | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | ThatNinja | 6 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵈᵃᵐᵉ☾ | 1601 | 0.16 | 34 min |
| #2 | nomadMF | 350 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | jksn (sitting desk user) | 341 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | Chilli | 253 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | sneed | 222 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaden | +3.40 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | jksn (sitting desk user) | +2.47 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | nomadMF | +0.45 | 76 | 68 |
| #4 | ᵈᵃᵐᵉ☾ | +0.05 | 75 | 49 |
| #5 | Fat Chaw | -0.55 | 61 | 44 |





