








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 661 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4769 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4941 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4660 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5230 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $986,113 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAERHI | 57% | 180 |
| #2 | HC-PIPSA 76 | 55% | 77 |
| #3 | VNB | 53% | 129 |
| #4 | mierda pete | 49% | 74 |
| #5 | KALEZ | 47% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAERHI | 57% | 180 |
| #2 | HC-PIPSA 76 | 55% | 77 |
| #3 | VNB | 53% | 129 |
| #4 | mierda pete | 49% | 74 |
| #5 | KALEZ | 47% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAERHI | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | KALEZ | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | HC-PIPSA 76 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | VNB | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | mierda pete | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAERHI | 824 | 0.23 | 29 min |
| #2 | VNB | 535 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #3 | KALEZ | 353 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #4 | HC-PIPSA 76 | 267 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | mierda pete | 104 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAERHI | +2.24 | 71 | 79 |
| #2 | KALEZ | +0.15 | 62 | 83 |
| #3 | VNB | -0.41 | 55 | 80 |
| #4 | Perduz | -0.46 | 46 | 73 |
| #5 | mierda pete | -0.47 | 66 | 61 |





