








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1617 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2752 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2015 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1816 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1544 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,466 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VNB | 54% | 69 |
| #2 | NAERHI | 50% | 46 |
| #3 | Perduz | 47% | 111 |
| #4 | mierda pete | 39% | 36 |
| #5 | HC-PIPSA 76 | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VNB | 54% | 69 |
| #2 | NAERHI | 50% | 46 |
| #3 | Perduz | 47% | 111 |
| #4 | mierda pete | 39% | 36 |
| #5 | HC-PIPSA 76 | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perduz | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | VNB | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | NAERHI | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perduz | 337 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | VNB | 322 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | NAERHI | 231 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #4 | HC-PIPSA 76 | 82 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | mierda pete | 53 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAERHI | +2.11 | 69 | 79 |
| #2 | KALEZ | +0.57 | 64 | 82 |
| #3 | Perduz | -0.37 | 43 | 72 |
| #4 | VNB | -0.99 | 55 | 80 |
| #5 | mierda pete | -1.04 | 69 | 62 |





