








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 892 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 618 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7341 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8087 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8215 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8145 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6744 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,974,050 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3729 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erected Elmo | 82% | 60 |
| #2 | ʸᵉ | 71% | 121 |
| #3 | metAkess | 63% | 136 |
| #4 | Kuyu | 57% | 752 |
| #5 | FemboyFoxie :3 | 55% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ʸᵉ | 71% | 121 |
| #3 | metAkess | 63% | 136 |
| #4 | Kuyu | 57% | 752 |
| #5 | FemboyFoxie :3 | 55% | 172 |
| #6 | GeeK | 47% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuyu | 88 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | ʸᵉ | 26 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | FemboyFoxie :3 | 15 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | GeeK | 10 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | metAkess | 7 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuyu | 1632 | 0.11 | 29 min |
| #2 | FemboyFoxie :3 | 518 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | ʸᵉ | 303 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | metAkess | 287 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | GeeK | 279 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʸᵉ | +3.94 | 58 | 58 |
| #2 | Erected Elmo | +3.42 | 55 | 45 |
| #3 | FemboyFoxie :3 | +2.22 | 68 | 49 |
| #4 | metAkess | +1.20 | 65 | 46 |
| #5 | Kuyu | +1.01 | 69 | 47 |





