








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3423 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2932 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2140 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1728 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 872 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $554,478 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whore.exe | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | water | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | St0rm | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Raw Exposure | 55% | 172 |
| #5 | Kuyu | 50% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whore.exe | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | water | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | St0rm | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Raw Exposure | 55% | 172 |
| #5 | Kuyu | 50% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuyu | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Raw Exposure | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | water | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raw Exposure | 476 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Kuyu | 215 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | St0rm | 75 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | water | 55 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | whore.exe | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whore.exe | +3.73 | 79 | 44 |
| #2 | St0rm | +2.70 | 71 | 68 |
| #3 | FemboyFoxie :3 | +1.98 | 69 | 48 |
| #4 | Kuyu | -0.42 | 64 | 51 |
| #5 | Raw Exposure | -1.40 | 33 | 57 |





