








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,531 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1482 | 33% |
| Smokes | 710 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 920 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1419 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $620,703 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karaś skins.army | 13 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | WHO TF IS GIGA N1GG4 | 11 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | I <3 JagermajsterCASE.GIFT | 11 | 0.0154 |
| #4 | b1t | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Inwalida jacekCASE.GIFT | 5 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kąrół | 173 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | b1t | 165 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | F1glen | 147 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | WHO TF IS GIGA N1GG4 | 88 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Karaś skins.army | 74 | 0.05 | 1 min |





