








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1655 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2355 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1410 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1000 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1390 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $342,891 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | i was using tilt control | 52% | 82 |
| #7 | 笹木 咲 | 48% | 81 |
| #8 | Kong | 47% | 45 |
| #9 | 虹ヶ咲学園突撃手大場なな | 44% | 25 |
| #10 | Ohio | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i was using tilt control | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | LemOn7 | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Kong | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | 笹木 咲 | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | calmmmmm | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i was using tilt control | 308 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | Kong | 190 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | LemOn7 | 171 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | 笹木 咲 | 153 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | 虹ヶ咲学園突撃手大場なな | 107 | 0.20 | 2 min |





