








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1837 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1920 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1642 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1024 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 756 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $442,476 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doRi$ | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | Mac Gully Pajon | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | jusbehonest kick/twitch | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | TOE | 44% | 133 |
| #5 | PIT | 40% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doRi$ | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | Mac Gully Pajon | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | jusbehonest kick/twitch | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | TOE | 44% | 133 |
| #5 | PIT | 40% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOE | 23 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | jusbehonest kick/twitch | 8 | 0.0162 |
| #3 | Mac Gully Pajon | 6 | 0.0132 |
| #4 | PIT | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | doRi$ | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOE | 169 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | PIT | 72 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | doRi$ | 33 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | Mac Gully Pajon | 24 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | jusbehonest kick/twitch | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mac Gully Pajon | +2.50 | 77 | 16 |
| #2 | doRi$ | +1.81 | 70 | 27 |
| #3 | TOE | +1.09 | 69 | 37 |
| #4 | Minithemoose | +0.40 | 50 | 38 |
| #5 | jusbehonest kick/twitch | -0.93 | 43 | 28 |





