








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Wingman | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1045 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1060 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1107 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1345 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $952,111 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOE | 41% | 223 |
| #2 | Minithemoose | 40% | 122 |
| #3 | jusbehonest kick/twitch | 38% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOE | 41% | 223 |
| #2 | Minithemoose | 40% | 122 |
| #3 | jusbehonest kick/twitch | 38% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOE | 28 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | jusbehonest kick/twitch | 14 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | Minithemoose | 8 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minithemoose | 274 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | TOE | 266 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | jusbehonest kick/twitch | 25 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOE | +0.98 | 73 | 38 |
| #2 | Minithemoose | +0.44 | 47 | 35 |
| #3 | PIT | -0.89 | 58 | 33 |
| #4 | jusbehonest kick/twitch | -1.11 | 49 | 35 |





