








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,013 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2834 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1991 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2114 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2074 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $402,670 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fivez | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Sammy#YourLostDad | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Ryder | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | 4pple3ater | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fivez | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Sammy#YourLostDad | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Ryder | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | 4pple3ater | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryder | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fivez | 167 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ryder | 117 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #3 | Sammy#YourLostDad | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | 4pple3ater | 18 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryder | +1.80 | 64 | 72 |
| #2 | fivez | +0.50 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | please | +0.05 | 51 | 64 |
| #4 | Sammy#YourLostDad | -1.25 | 76 | 58 |
| #5 | 4pple3ater | -1.31 | 73 | 56 |





