








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 534 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Wingman | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4104 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,795 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6022 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4178 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2865 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3730 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,154,239 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 369 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FRAQ-KTR | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | 4pple3ater | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | hotel | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | fivez | 60% | 35 |
| #5 | chr1s | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | jayk | 47% | 98 |
| #11 | A swimming brown dog | 46% | 59 |
| #12 | Louie | 45% | 69 |
| #13 | spagooter | 44% | 25 |
| #14 | Sure Lock Homes | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Cluckers | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Sure Lock Homes | 7 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Theseus | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Bread | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | jayk | 5 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Theseus | 674 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | Bread | 404 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Mr. Cluckers | 283 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | fivez | 224 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #5 | jayk | 141 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryder | +2.68 | 69 | 73 |
| #2 | hotel | +2.52 | 76 | 73 |
| #3 | chr1s | +1.20 | 82 | 70 |
| #4 | fivez | +1.12 | 84 | 69 |
| #5 | Sure Lock Homes | +0.86 | 55 | 44 |





