








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 233 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,442 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3189 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4324 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3348 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4581 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,457,283 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hоски | 79% | 24 |
| #2 | lovely | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | NatE | 66% | 205 |
| #4 | NBOMe | 65% | 112 |
| #5 | himothy | 65% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | RNG | 65% | 127 |
| #7 | xpanddoge | 63% | 54 |
| #8 | tanner | 62% | 58 |
| #9 | Grimmy | 59% | 102 |
| #10 | Dagger | 56% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NBOMe | 13 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | NatE | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | himothy | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | RNG | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | lovely | 3 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RNG | 590 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #2 | himothy | 496 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | NatE | 467 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | Dagger | 422 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #5 | Grimmy | 332 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RNG | +2.34 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | Grimmy | +1.54 | 74 | 62 |
| #3 | xpanddoge | +1.48 | 81 | 58 |
| #4 | Dagger | +1.43 | 73 | 80 |
| #5 | himothy | +1.06 | 53 | 61 |





