








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2231 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2599 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2334 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2378 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $594,816 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 582 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shrqnk | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | MaDmAxxxeee | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | God Prince | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | ARKYN | 63% | 27 |
| #5 | pflasterwagenfahrer | 63% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Magnesiumtablette | 50% | 28 |
| #11 | dubtale | 42% | 33 |
| #12 | LOEWEN | sonezu | 39% | 38 |
| #13 | Faviid | 38% | 13 |
| #14 | Eddyy | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oxi | 106 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | Magnesiumtablette | 102 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | ARKYN | 92 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Faviid | 67 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #5 | dubtale | 60 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ARKYN | +5.68 | 88 | 57 |
| #2 | God Prince | +3.39 | 94 | 64 |
| #3 | dubtale | +2.45 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | MaDmAxxxeee | +1.78 | 83 | 64 |
| #5 | Oxi | +1.09 | 87 | 62 |





