








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 770 | 59% |
| Smokes | 169 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 261 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 96 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $75,357 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | freddy | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | MiSSED | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Weechan | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | ~Samlawn~ +SMORe+ *taskiyu* | 42% | 53 |
| #5 | ozzy4710 | 37% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Weechan | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | ~Samlawn~ +SMORe+ *taskiyu* | 42% | 53 |
| #5 | ozzy4710 | 37% | 43 |
| #6 | G4RTHY | 22% | 9 |
| #7 | bluephoenix9911 | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ozzy4710 | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | ~Samlawn~ +SMORe+ *taskiyu* | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | freddy | 2 | 0.0244 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~Samlawn~ +SMORe+ *taskiyu* | 191 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | ozzy4710 | 109 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | MiSSED | 21 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Weechan | 13 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | G4RTHY | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | freddy | +6.02 | 82 | 27 |
| #2 | ozzy4710 | +3.09 | 72 | 64 |
| #3 | MiSSED | +0.85 | 72 | 51 |
| #4 | Weechan | -0.74 | 42 | 58 |
| #5 | ~Samlawn~ +SMORe+ *taskiyu* | -0.85 | 50 | 50 |





