








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
156 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 60 | 15% |
| Smokes | 161 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 82 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 93 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $54,351 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiSSED | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Maldy | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | ~Samlawn~ +SMORe+ *taskiyu* | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | ozzy4710 | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | G4RTHY | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiSSED | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Maldy | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | ~Samlawn~ +SMORe+ *taskiyu* | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | ozzy4710 | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | G4RTHY | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~Samlawn~ +SMORe+ *taskiyu* | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | ozzy4710 | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~Samlawn~ +SMORe+ *taskiyu* | 69 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | Maldy | 53 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | ozzy4710 | 24 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | G4RTHY | 6 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | MiSSED | 4 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ozzy4710 | +3.66 | 70 | 68 |
| #2 | ~Samlawn~ +SMORe+ *taskiyu* | -0.01 | 54 | 55 |
| #3 | Maldy | -0.10 | 48 | 56 |
| #4 | Weechan | -0.68 | 47 | 57 |
| #5 | MiSSED | -1.11 | 45 | 47 |





