








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,593 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 435 | 27% |
| Smokes | 509 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 287 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 362 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $229,315 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matt | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | Harry | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | SpOoKyβ’ | 36% | 28 |
| #4 | Chick with a Dick | 35% | 37 |
| #5 | Gwidt | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chick with a Dick | 177 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | βST34DYβ | 131 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | SpOoKyβ’ | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Matt | 39 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | bob | 24 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob | +4.08 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | Matt | +2.63 | 63 | 50 |
| #3 | Chick with a Dick | -0.04 | 56 | 75 |
| #4 | ππππππ | -0.35 | 63 | 67 |
| #5 | βST34DYβ | -2.29 | 44 | 61 |





