








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 802 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 141 | 18% |
| Smokes | 205 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 168 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 288 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $115,234 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matt | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Harry | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | ♔ST34DY♔ | 37% | 27 |
| #4 | 𝕒𝕋𝕆𝕄𝕚𝕜 | 36% | 28 |
| #5 | Chick with a Dick | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Harry | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | ♔ST34DY♔ | 37% | 27 |
| #4 | 𝕒𝕋𝕆𝕄𝕚𝕜 | 36% | 28 |
| #5 | Chick with a Dick | 35% | 23 |
| #6 | bob | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♔ST34DY♔ | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Chick with a Dick | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | bob | 1 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chick with a Dick | 102 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | 𝕒𝕋𝕆𝕄𝕚𝕜 | 62 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | ♔ST34DY♔ | 62 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Matt | 28 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #5 | bob | 15 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob | +2.87 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | Matt | +2.13 | 63 | 49 |
| #3 | 𝕒𝕋𝕆𝕄𝕚𝕜 | -0.05 | 63 | 70 |
| #4 | Chick with a Dick | -0.24 | 61 | 74 |
| #5 | Harry | -2.01 | 19 | 52 |





