








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1871 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,238 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 590 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1293 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 639 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 716 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $887,847 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JukE | 57% | 65 |
| #2 | Meta<3 | 54% | 148 |
| #3 | vl$ ⏅ | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | TerppA | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | ReTu | 41% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | vl$ ⏅ | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | TerppA | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | ReTu | 41% | 44 |
| #6 | Raivo | 35% | 17 |
| #7 | Julle | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meta<3 | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | JukE | 9 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | TerppA | 7 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | ReTu | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | vl$ ⏅ | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meta<3 | 638 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | JukE | 229 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | TerppA | 85 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | ReTu | 74 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Julle | 62 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meta<3 | +3.56 | 85 | 60 |
| #2 | vl$ ⏅ | +2.74 | 82 | 58 |
| #3 | Raivo | +1.35 | 63 | 58 |
| #4 | ReTu | +0.83 | 81 | 67 |
| #5 | JukE | +0.04 | 71 | 53 |





