








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 125 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




93 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2066 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,646 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2249 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2566 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2109 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1722 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $427,675 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lius | 48% | 27 |
| #2 | Noscar | 47% | 108 |
| #3 | Thomas Iversen | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | Worthy of The Legendary Silver | 44% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lius | 48% | 27 |
| #2 | Noscar | 47% | 108 |
| #3 | Thomas Iversen | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | Worthy of The Legendary Silver | 44% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noscar | 29 | 0.0154 |
| #2 | Thomas Iversen | 13 | 0.0189 |
| #3 | lius | 6 | 0.0157 |
| #4 | Worthy of The Legendary Silver | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noscar | 207 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Thomas Iversen | 152 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | Worthy of The Legendary Silver | 141 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | lius | 40 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noscar | +3.35 | 80 | 47 |
| #2 | lius | +3.31 | 89 | 43 |
| #3 | Worthy of The Legendary Silver | +1.51 | 67 | 40 |
| #4 | Alf | -2.88 | 39 | 40 |
| #5 | Thomas Iversen | -2.99 | 33 | 31 |





