








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 559 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 115 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1195 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2047 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 892 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2412 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,682,656 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 266 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swiftology | 61% | 51 |
| #2 | ShadowOwl | 56% | 50 |
| #3 | Brack | 47% | 500 |
| #4 | Mike Oxlong | 47% | 47 |
| #5 | `Arsonist | 46% | 338 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike Oxlong | +5.74 | 77 | 55 |
| #2 | M1ni(; | +2.53 | 46 | 54 |
| #3 | Brack | +2.40 | 65 | 59 |
| #4 | FlaccidOnAcid | +2.12 | 67 | 63 |
| #5 | ShadowOwl | +0.34 | 48 | 30 |





