










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 240 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 47 | 20% |
| Smokes | 43 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 107 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 43 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $81,979 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K | 4 | 0.0212 |
| #2 | boombl4 | 3 | 0.0166 |
| #3 | callmesekseris HELLTV.STORE | 3 | 0.0181 |
| #4 | HaraaldsXd | 2 | 0.0148 |
| #5 | 𝕮𝕳𝕴𝕭 | 2 | 0.0160 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boombl4 | 35 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | Kobe Bryant | 32 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | callmesekseris HELLTV.STORE | 27 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | K | 25 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | 𝕮𝕳𝕴𝕭 | 17 | 0.14 | 0 min |





