








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 755 | 31% |
| Smokes | 539 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 695 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 424 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $351,704 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kobe Bryant | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | 𝕮𝕳𝕴𝕭 | 45% | 40 |
| #3 | C01d | 41% | 49 |
| #4 | RapistDestroyer3000 | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | HaraaldsXd | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C01d | 119 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | K | 72 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | COACH OĻEGS KRIPTOKROPLIS | 64 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | 𝕮𝕳𝕴𝕭 | 50 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kobe Bryant | 34 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C01d | +4.16 | 76 | 71 |
| #2 | Kobe Bryant | +3.37 | 66 | 62 |
| #3 | COACH OĻEGS KRIPTOKROPLIS | +1.39 | 44 | 72 |
| #4 | RapistDestroyer3000 | +0.83 | 33 | 18 |
| #5 | 𝕮𝕳𝕴𝕭 | +0.12 | 44 | 44 |





