








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,085 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 760 | 25% |
| Smokes | 598 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 949 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 778 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $303,777 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juxtaism | 60% | 43 |
| #2 | Triple D | 60% | 47 |
| #3 | novo ツ | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | ✪ Schildo | 57% | 69 |
| #5 | .toXic :^) | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | jNNs ツ | 50% | 78 |
| #7 | KoRRiKonG | 46% | 41 |
| #8 | Ace ツ | 46% | 24 |
| #9 | ✪ FoX | 38% | 24 |
| #10 | Philipp | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jNNs ツ | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Triple D | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | ✪ Schildo | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | KoRRiKonG | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | ✪ FoX | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KoRRiKonG | 293 | 0.33 | 8 min |
| #2 | ✪ Schildo | 272 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | jNNs ツ | 217 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ace ツ | 124 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | Triple D | 104 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Schildo | +2.71 | 85 | 73 |
| #2 | KoRRiKonG | +2.49 | 85 | 74 |
| #3 | novo ツ | +2.42 | 81 | 53 |
| #4 | Ace ツ | +2.32 | 86 | 76 |
| #5 | Triple D | +0.94 | 78 | 64 |





