








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
685 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,715 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 869 | 32% |
| Smokes | 685 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 676 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 485 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $69,265 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KoRRiKonG | 61% | 51 |
| #5 | jNNs ツ | 54% | 41 |
| #6 | ✪ FoX | 48% | 31 |
| #7 | ✪ Schildo | 48% | 21 |
| #8 | Flanke ツ | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KoRRiKonG | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | jNNs ツ | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | ✪ FoX | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | ✪ Schildo | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Flanke ツ | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KoRRiKonG | 277 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #2 | jNNs ツ | 113 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✪ Schildo | 81 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Flanke ツ | 76 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | .toXic :^) | 53 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | novo ツ | +3.34 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | ✪ Schildo | +3.09 | 90 | 72 |
| #3 | KoRRiKonG | +2.42 | 86 | 73 |
| #4 | Ace ツ | +2.03 | 87 | 68 |
| #5 | .toXic :^) | +2.00 | 89 | 65 |





