








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2719 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,683 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 451 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1640 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1683 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1909 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $880,529 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tilted Texas | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | N.M.G | 63% | 70 |
| #3 | svN- | 58% | 147 |
| #4 | rdX | 56% | 182 |
| #5 | VELO;DDD | 56% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VELO;DDD | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | rdX | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | svN- | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | FnX | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | yuuz:D | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | svN- | 518 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | rdX | 347 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | VELO;DDD | 281 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | N.M.G | 163 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | FnX | 101 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FnX | +3.50 | 83 | 71 |
| #2 | Zebra | +1.51 | 65 | 44 |
| #3 | Tilted Texas | +0.89 | 61 | 52 |
| #4 | svN- | +0.66 | 64 | 72 |
| #5 | N.M.G | +0.45 | 59 | 67 |





