








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 630 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1076 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1139 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 940 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 900 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $438,379 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 420 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kapdu | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | pasi | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | NASKU | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | NauQ | 55% | 49 |
| #5 | Jomppe | 55% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jomppe | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | -ZICX | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | ☆Ch3CooZ☆ | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | NauQ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | kapdu | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -ZICX | 171 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jomppe | 161 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | NauQ | 84 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | kapdu | 66 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | pasi | 62 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jepö | +3.90 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | pasi | +3.55 | 87 | 77 |
| #3 | Spawn | +1.99 | 74 | 66 |
| #4 | -ZICX | +1.49 | 86 | 61 |
| #5 | ☆Ch3CooZ☆ | +1.38 | 90 | 52 |





