








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 811 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 417 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,632 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6261 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4765 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 8456 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 7150 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,925,608 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1878 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bantek | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | Lars | 54% | 268 |
| #3 | Simon | 54% | 222 |
| #4 | Malte | 53% | 297 |
| #5 | Lаrry Pottеr | 52% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lars | 54% | 268 |
| #3 | Simon | 54% | 222 |
| #4 | Malte | 53% | 297 |
| #5 | Lаrry Pottеr | 52% | 65 |
| #6 | Purbel | 46% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malte | 17 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Purbel | 16 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Lars | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Simon | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Lаrry Pottеr | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malte | 619 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #2 | Lars | 484 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | Purbel | 462 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | Simon | 155 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lаrry Pottеr | 57 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malte | +2.31 | 71 | 71 |
| #2 | Piano Reeves | +0.83 | 67 | 73 |
| #3 | bantek | +0.78 | 50 | 74 |
| #4 | Lars | +0.15 | 44 | 75 |
| #5 | Lаrry Pottеr | -0.44 | 48 | 58 |





