








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 340 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,376 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3599 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3191 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4827 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4759 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,517,721 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 704 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bantek | 58% | 60 |
| #2 | Lаrry Pottеr | 52% | 139 |
| #3 | Piotr | 51% | 74 |
| #4 | Lars | 49% | 165 |
| #5 | Dorfmatratze | 48% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Lars | 49% | 165 |
| #5 | Dorfmatratze | 48% | 62 |
| #6 | Malte | 47% | 135 |
| #7 | Piano Reeves | 46% | 196 |
| #8 | Simon | 45% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piano Reeves | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Lars | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Piotr | 8 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Malte | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Simon | 5 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piano Reeves | 538 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #2 | Lars | 352 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Malte | 284 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Piotr | 190 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Lаrry Pottеr | 162 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malte | +3.07 | 72 | 72 |
| #2 | bantek | +2.20 | 56 | 72 |
| #3 | Piano Reeves | +2.12 | 69 | 75 |
| #4 | Piotr | +1.90 | 69 | 73 |
| #5 | Lars | +1.11 | 43 | 75 |





