








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 774 | 53% |
| Smokes | 155 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 352 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 168 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $353,595 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImperialDrag00n | 63% | 51 |
| #2 | ♦L♣E♠W♦I♣S♠ | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Not Washed | 49% | 55 |
| #4 | Hydaru | 45% | 101 |
| #5 | MafiaKenny | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hydaru | 36 | 0.0184 |
| #2 | Xaela | 10 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Not Washed | 8 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | ImperialDrag00n | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Poggies | 6 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImperialDrag00n | 218 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | Not Washed | 99 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Poggies | 89 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hydaru | 50 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | MafiaKenny | 35 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hydaru | +8.70 | 92 | 36 |
| #2 | ImperialDrag00n | +5.76 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | Poggies | +1.53 | 73 | 43 |
| #4 | MafiaKenny | +1.35 | 58 | 46 |
| #5 | Not Washed | +0.89 | 47 | 55 |





