








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3451 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,190 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 870 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1515 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1230 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1575 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,012,357 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kniven | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | D0cC | 64% | 80 |
| #3 | さようなら𖣂 | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | KarMaHD | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | 150k | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kniven | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | D0cC | 64% | 80 |
| #3 | さようなら𖣂 | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | KarMaHD | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | 150k | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D0cC | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | KarMaHD | 5 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | kniven | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | さようなら𖣂 | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | 150k | 3 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D0cC | 308 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | KarMaHD | 127 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | さようなら𖣂 | 66 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | kniven | 62 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | 150k | 11 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D0cC | +4.27 | 96 | 64 |
| #2 | kniven | +1.51 | 88 | 55 |
| #3 | MagnnuM | +1.46 | 94 | 41 |
| #4 | さようなら𖣂 | -0.47 | 89 | 45 |
| #5 | 150k | -1.03 | 90 | 44 |





