








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1664 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2202 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1140 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1005 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1328 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $880,366 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | down curse | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | Gerald Ganda | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | يمارس الجنس مع ال | 57% | 93 |
| #4 | Gumi | 56% | 54 |
| #5 | FD God | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | يمارس الجنس مع ال | 32 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | Klefonidas | 22 | 0.0219 |
| #3 | KubusKozakGangBangEkipa2011 | 18 | 0.0229 |
| #4 | TomaszKocur2009PL420THC | 16 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | Guido | 8 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | يمارس الجنس مع ال | 395 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | Gerald Ganda | 223 | 0.32 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jurand | 190 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Gumi | 162 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | KubusKozakGangBangEkipa2011 | 160 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gerald Ganda | +5.63 | 67 | 60 |
| #2 | يمارس الجنس مع ال | +4.16 | 84 | 74 |
| #3 | Gumi | +3.50 | 79 | 61 |
| #4 | Jurand | +2.56 | 79 | 57 |
| #5 | Patrick Texas | +1.29 | 79 | 42 |





