








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 361 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2049 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,870 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 29 | 1% |
| Smokes | 1364 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 598 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1879 | 49% |
Our logs show you have wasted $747,344 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZlotyChlopiec | 47% | 162 |
| #2 | 𝔾riechischeℝ♛𝕎eiℕ | 41% | 80 |
| #3 | Dreadhawk | 41% | 345 |
| #4 | Xander | 38% | 733 |
| #5 | mAT | 38% | 224 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xander | 854 | 0.06 | 15 min |
| #2 | Dreadhawk | 606 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | Papa ™ | 264 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | 𝔾riechischeℝ♛𝕎eiℕ | 214 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | mAT | 117 | 0.03 | 3 min |





