








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1673 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 401 matches | ||
| Wingman | 287 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 458 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15799 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,753 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11593 | 25% |
| Smokes | 11662 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 11775 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 10723 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,051,852 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | samu2209 | 45% | 210 |
| #12 | Tobedos | 43% | 288 |
| #13 | Vania | 41% | 345 |
| #14 | Papa ™ | 40% | 124 |
| #15 | Fendi | 38% | 229 |





