








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,065 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4686 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2516 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3510 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2353 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $474,747 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 365 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaxon ll | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Cutie Jebediah :( | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Wenglos | 51% | 67 |
| #4 | iF4il_Weakly | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | oqur | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Kichwa | 46% | 35 |
| #8 | BP | 44% | 36 |
| #9 | CNR | 44% | 34 |
| #10 | FAdy200 | 43% | 21 |
| #11 | Faizon™ | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BP | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | CNR | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Kichwa | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | ✪TaMM➝ | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | iF4il_Weakly | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BP | 185 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | CNR | 158 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | Wenglos | 119 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kichwa | 103 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪TaMM➝ | 92 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BP | +3.92 | 81 | 72 |
| #2 | Kichwa | +2.05 | 69 | 54 |
| #3 | CNR | +1.64 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | smithyyy | +1.57 | 81 | 68 |
| #5 | oqur | +1.09 | 73 | 58 |





