








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,494 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1419 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1471 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1273 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1331 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $557,473 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faked | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | ok | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Delta | 59% | 70 |
| #4 | monty~depre??ed | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Strangeraeons | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anaca | 4 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | Delta | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Faking | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Faked | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Strangeraeons | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Delta | 487 | 0.32 | 14 min |
| #2 | Strangeraeons | 105 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Faked | 83 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Faking | 74 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Anaca | 60 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faked | +3.27 | 94 | 63 |
| #2 | Anaca | +2.73 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | ok | +2.04 | 84 | 68 |
| #4 | Delta | +0.76 | 65 | 75 |
| #5 | Strangeraeons | -0.23 | 57 | 69 |





