








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 397 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
913 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 461 | 19% |
| Smokes | 491 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 630 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 891 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $553,350 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faked | 75% | 24 |
| #2 | Delta | 67% | 45 |
| #3 | Strangeraeons | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | SirLagsAlot | 47% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faked | 75% | 24 |
| #2 | Delta | 67% | 45 |
| #3 | Strangeraeons | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | SirLagsAlot | 47% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirLagsAlot | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | Delta | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Strangeraeons | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Delta | 350 | 0.36 | 10 min |
| #2 | SirLagsAlot | 280 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Strangeraeons | 81 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Faked | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faked | +3.33 | 94 | 66 |
| #2 | Delta | +2.02 | 66 | 75 |
| #3 | Strangeraeons | -0.04 | 58 | 71 |
| #4 | SirLagsAlot | -0.53 | 65 | 70 |
| #5 | Faking | -0.86 | 70 | 43 |





