








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 284 | 32% |
| Smokes | 118 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 236 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 245 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $238,013 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freyja | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | Hollows | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | ☁I AM BUSH☁ | 56% | 43 |
| #4 | Drunken | 55% | 40 |
| #5 | FishPro18 | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Boogs | 39% | 28 |
| #10 | YouHaveUno.Exe | 38% | 13 |
| #11 | Ethan | 38% | 24 |
| #12 | ArtTheClown | 35% | 26 |
| #13 | chrisbluz | 33% | 9 |





