










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2199 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 976 | 34% |
| Smokes | 442 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 832 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 651 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $927,856 of utility $254 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 50% | 22 |
| #2 | Noname | 43% | 123 |
| #3 | Peter Pan | 40% | 126 |
| #4 | Butt Lightyear | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 50% | 22 |
| #2 | Noname | 43% | 123 |
| #3 | Peter Pan | 40% | 126 |
| #4 | Butt Lightyear | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 49 | 0.0204 |
| #2 | Peter Pan | 36 | 0.0147 |
| #3 | Noname | 4 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | Butt Lightyear | 4 | 0.0138 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peter Pan | 238 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Noname | 161 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Noname | 22 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Butt Lightyear | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TurboCharged DIDDLER | +3.39 | 84 | 24 |
| #2 | Noname | -1.12 | 43 | 10 |
| #3 | Peter Pan | -1.97 | 37 | 44 |
| #4 | Noname | -3.71 | 23 | 16 |
| #5 | Butt Lightyear | -4.51 | 44 | 8 |





